2005 Faux Faulkner Winner

Sam Apple has won the 2005 competition with his piece, The Administration and the Fury: If William Faulkner were writing on the Bush White House:

"He needs his makeup," Dick said.

"I ll do it," Condi said. She put a little brush on my check and it tickled and I laughed.

Rummy walked into the room. "Jesus, what s he laughing about," Rummy said.

"Dont you pay attention to him, Georgie," Dick said. "They re going to be asking you all about Social Security. You just remember what we talked about."

"He cant remember anything," Rummy said.

I started to holler. Dick s face was red and he looked at Rummy. "I told you to hush up already," Dick said. "Now look what you ve gone and done."

"Go and get him Saddam s gun," Condi said. "You know how he likes to hold it."

Almost makes me want to actually read The Sound and the Fury.

Almost.

Read the entire piece here.