10 December 2003

A smile to start my day

This morning, when I came in to work, I had an e-mail from one of "my" kids from my previous job. It was one of those soppy bits o' glurge that have a life message within. In this case it was, "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion." I think that's a pretty good bit of advice, even if I abhor the chain letter aspects these pieces usually contain.

The best part, though, wasn't the moral. The best part was seeing that I haven't been forgotten by my kids. So many children have passed through my life, and I have genuinely loved many of them. My last job was especially meaningful to me. I wept when I left because I didn't want to leave those children, even though I could no longer bear to remain in that place. I have a large folder of their drawings and letters at home and a picture a small boy drew of me taped to my bedroom wall. I have a hideous silver Chihuahua one of my girls gave me (shortly before she and her sister were whisked out of school by a parent and then disappeared). I have a heart broken by the leaving that is now, finally, slowly, healing.

I also know that, in the way that the minds and loyalties of children work, sometimes they mean much more to me than I do to them. I am, after all, just the librarian. But I love them and remember so many of them. It is heartening to see that some of them remember me, too.

No comments: